People don't realize how many students have died at Carlmont.
Carlmont is a campus filled with thousands of kids, many that students won’t meet before graduation. Students become busy and focused on their own studies and hobbies, making it difficult to meet each other, let alone every student at Carlmont. Yet all students in a class are expected to make it to graduation. This is not always the case. Student memorials are scattered throughout Carlmont’s campus in honor of the students Carlmont have lost. The attendance office, Crestview Park in the San Carlos Hills, and the baseball field all include the memorials of those lost through illness and teen suicide. Though memorials are included at Carlmont, the way the district handles them can be controversial to many. The idea of the celebration of death or suicide can cause certain people to feel uncomfortable. Many parents and loved ones cope with deaths by creating memorials as a message to the students of Carlmont and to remember their student throughout the years. Principal Ralph Crame said, “Memorials are initiated through family members because we don't want to overstep our boundaries[by making them ourselves]. If a family member reaches out we see if it makes sense to develop a memorial and we react in a responsible manner with the family.” Counselor and founder of the SOS program that copes with life skills, Shelly Bustamante supervises a group of those who have lost special people in their lives as a coping method and remembers those the school has lost by contributing photos to a bulletin board in the S.O.S office. “As far as memorials, one of my S.O.S leaders died in a car accident. The parents donated a picnic table as the mom wanted kids to see her name and ask questions and keep her memory alive. We occasionally have had memorials in the PAC and get together and open it up and talk about the hard time they are going through,” said Bustamante. Yet teen suicides and death can make many feel uncomfortable which results in the lack of memorials and remembrance of one that has died. The National Association of School Psychologists says, “The national school safety center agree that no memorial service should be held at school because it places the deceased student in the position of being a role model.” Yet others believe avoiding a service will not prevent the kids from talking to the friend and classmate they have loved. “I think it's necessary to have memorials. I think it's important that we celebrate someone's lifetime no matter what and no one can prevent students from knowing. Everyone has someone who loves them even if they aren’t here anymore,” said junior Jack Hicks The argument to prevent the recognition of suicide and teen death is recognized, but Administration chooses to handle the situation appropriately according to family wishes. Crame said, “I understand what the argument saying it could have a negative effect on our students, which is why we have to be careful and respectful and see where we are honoring them. There are protocols and guidelines in the district that we must follow closely.” Substitute teacher Mrs. Lankguish experienced a teen suicide while she was a teacher at Carlmont. After losing the student she was a key factor to the kids who had lost their friend due to suicide. Languish said, “The student who committed suicide was well liked and showed little indication of suicide before he died. He sent messages to close friends saying, ‘don't forget I love you’ and even left his guitars to his friends. They knew something was wrong and they came to see me and we waited at the principal's office trying to keep the hope alive. It was very difficult time probably the worst day at school for me ever.” Carlmont aims to make a comfort those experience the loss and remember students as the years go on. Bustamante said, “I kept a picture of a student who died as a junior and wanted to live so bad but had an illness and lost the battle and I keep her picture to remind myself and others life is precious and live in the present in her memory. Make your life have meaning.” |